“A real Christian is the one who can give his pet parrot to the town gossip” (Billy Graham)

The Difference Between A Cat and A Dog: 

A Dog thinks:  “You love, feed me, shelter me, care for me, you must be God”

A Cat thinks:  “You love me, feed me, shelter me, care for me, I must be God.”

A Dog’s Advice for Happy Living

Our dog, Buddy, is a great teacher, and he’s very patient.  Here are 18 things he’s working on teaching me.  He came up with them all on his own. 

1. A joy ride is just that, meant for joy.  Don’t skip them. 
2. Let the air blow on your face as you hang out the window so that  you have no wrinkles and can’t see.  Be sure someone else is driving and watch out for slobber of dogs in other cars.  I think it was a dog.
3. Meet your loved ones at the door with hugs and kisses, don’t forget to lick their hand and jump on their foot.
4. Obey, you might get a treat, make mine jerkey.
5. Set your boundaries.  That chair is the dogs.
6. Take frequent naps, and stretch those muscles when you get up so you don’t pull one.  What?  Can’t hear you, I’m asleep, call back later.
7. If you are taken outside on a leash, run.  You need the exercise.
8. Wolf down your food, there is always someone in the house who is hungry and might eat yours.
9. Love your owner, just your owner, nobody else but your owner.  Accept love from others. 
10. Be yourself, someone the dog could love.
11. When you dig up old bones, expect to get dirty.
12. If someone you love is sad, put your cold nose in their face and lick them with your tongue.  Works everytime.
13. Ask for walks.  Everyone feels better when they smell the neighbor’s yard.
14. Enjoy attention and touches from others, especially on the belly or behind the ears.  Try it, you’ll like it!
15. Don’t bite, but don’t be afraid to growl.
16. To relax on a hot day, drink lots of water and take a nap in the shade.
17. Show you’re happy, wag your tail and dance.
18. Don’t take criticism personally, just keep coming back.

It’s a Dog’s Life

If I were just a little smarter, I could understand Buddy.  Poor thing, he was trying so hard to tell us something, and we just didn’t get it for several minutes.  He was patient for the humans, though.

It was time for our morning drive for breakfast, and we had our youngest son going along.  He had surprised us by arriving at 2:30 in the morning, saying to wake him up for breakfast out before we had to work, and then he collapsed on the sofa…Buddy an eager companion, by his side.  “So nice to have my brother here,” Buddy thought.

He’s always sure they come just to see him.

The next morning, we got up and dressed hurriedly, to meet our heavily scheduled day, and the breakfast added to it, though we were glad to do it.

“Get your leash!”  we said to Buddy, when we all were by the front door.  Buddy ran upstairs to get it and then ran back down without it.  “Buddy!  Get your leash!”  we said again.

Again, Buddy ran upstairs and came back down without it.  He sat expectantly by the front door. 

“Buddy, quit being stubborn and get your leash!”  Buddy ran back upstairs, disappeared and then came back to the top of the stairs and barked politely.  One little, short bark. 

Exasperated, Buddy’s dad walked up stairs.   Oops.  The bedroom door was closed, and Buddy was looking at it imploringly.   “Dad!  Get my leash!”  He was saying with his eyes.

So, dad opened the door, Buddy got his leash by the bed, and off he went downstairs.  He dropped it by the door.  Picked it up again, raised up on his hind legs as was his routine, and gave the leash to dad to be fastened around his neck.  He does this, so “dad” doesn’t have to bend over.  Smart dog.  Dump parent.  Next time, open the bedroom door, dummy.

Ok, Buddy, we get it.

-Buddy’s Mom, learning dog talk one bark at a time.